Writing practice

 Lately, I've become really self-aware, especially of the vibrations and frequencies. Some videos just clicked for me, and it all made sense. I need to be in the zone where I am feeling amazing things, at least most of the time. It can happen with negative emotions, so why not flip that and make it positive? I'm not saying I should feel ecstatic the entire time. That would make that feeling boring. What I mean is, the predominant range of emotions can shift up the spectrum. I think it would be doable, but just like any sudden change it requires a big effort in the beginning. I will eat healthy, go to meet-ups, meet new and amazing friends, and fill my head with healthy and great content. I will continue working out regularly, and go running on rest days. My life is pretty awesome these days so I will continue moving the needle up the scale. Let's effing go!

I don't think I wrote 2 blogs on the same day before, but this is an important topic so I will make an exception. I believe I have recently found my why. The thing that connects everything inside me, explains the way I am, and puts my passion into words. Ok ready? Here it is. My why is conquest. I want to be a great conquerer, like Ghengis Khan or Napoleon, but we live in the modern age. I must conquer the world by acquiring wealth and building a great business empire. I love hooking up with girls because it is a form of conquest, and I love the expansion part of my business because it is an expansion of my territory. I want to acquire great power and strength. I want to conquer the world. Conquering is my why. It sounds silly. But it's reasonable. Everyone is born to be someone or something. I was born to be a conquerer. Had I been born a few hundred years ago, I would be conquering lands. But today it takes a different form. Either way, it makes me want to jump out of bed and...

It's been a minute since the last time I wrote anything. A lot has changed but also stayed the same. Well, something that came to light is that, indeed Karolina hates my guts. My suspicion has come true. And I am still up to the 5th unit. As I planned, the system is running pretty smoothly. I can be expanding, but I'm not really too happy to take on extra stress at the moment. I think that the in-house situation plus meeting a weird guy really put me in a downward spiral that lowered my self-esteem significantly. I think perhaps, it was my way of self-sabotage, without actually destroying my business. Ah, the familiar face is back. I was wondering when he would show his face. Well, if that was the end of it, I'm glad it was so mild and did not affect my business. Time to rebound stronger than ever, as that is my nature and has always been. I'm just glad that I have built my business so strong and well thought out, that it was actually running without my input, and survi...

     I've been feeling something in my head, like a fever but it's more of a mental fever... It's a very odd feeling but perhaps it is a manifestation of burnout. It could be the weather as well... apparently, they call it global boiling now instead of global warming. The troubles at the house do not help one bit either.     The only thing that has been going right was me working out and running every day. I've been really consistent with it and did not skip a day. I think what kind of pushed me over the edge was getting kind of ignored by the 3 hot girls I recently interacted with. I thought they would drool over me but that was not the case. It was the moment I realized that I need to be 3~5x bigger than now. Of course, that is very disappointing and makes me lose my energy, but hey that's what it is. I need to be better than my best. And I will. I will continue growing my business. I need to find the right reasons.