Writing practice

Today I saw a video about speaking with more certainty, and it's something I used to be really good at. Kind of a lost art to me. I still got it but  (and) I'm sure I can polish it up to be much better at it. But the main thing that the video brought to my attention was hedging words. It's something I discussed with chat gpt previously as well. To sound more confident. The other points were ending with period, using down talk, and slowing down. I suppose slowing down is something I can practice as well. But the main thing is getting rid of hedging words. I am writing this blog to highlight the hedging words I use, and I already notice some I have used. I need (will) to practice getting rid of filler words too. It is remarkable how the way you do one thing is connected to how you do everything. The way you speak is connected to the way you write, and the way you write is connected to the way you think. So when you fix one thing, you fix other things by the way of connectio...

Prompt: Write a blog post for me considering my life these days. Imagine you were me and wrote it. It's like a diary, journal. I don't expect anyone to read it, it's more of a self reflection time for me. But I want to try something new. so you write it imagining you are me. Chat GPT: I don’t really know who this is for. Probably no one. Which makes it easier to be honest. Lately my life feels quieter on the inside, even though on the outside it probably looks louder than ever. I’m posting more, building more, shipping things into the world at a pace that would’ve scared an older version of me. But internally, something has settled. Not peace exactly—more like gravity. I wake up, I work, I push. I don’t ask my mood for permission anymore. That alone feels like a small revolution. There was a time when everything hinged on how I felt : inspired or empty, confident or washed, chosen or forgotten. These days, I move first. Feelings catch up later, jogging behind me, slig...

     I have a redemption arc. It is perhaps my greatest fuel. I was destined for greatness, but my environment prevented me from reaching my full growth and potential. Now I must break the cage around me, pull myself up, and unapologetically reach my true form. I have failed my honor once, by signing into a contract I could not fulfill. I was taken advantage by close people around me. But I have recognized the pattern, and refuse to shackle myself again. I'd rather die standing than live on my knees again. The old me must go and give space to the true me. It is a rebirth, perhaps returning to my old self before I was contaminated by the world and those around me. And I will reclaim the boundless confidence I had once. Trust in me again. I have started taking actions to be honorable, respectable, and keeping true to my words. It maybe small but honest work. I know I was born for greatness. It is the soul I was born with, and the day I realized that not everyone had this in...

      I went out in a long time last night. It was actually a pretty good night, all things considered. I felt like "I still have it". I was scared that I was "washed off" but girls were still into me, and I felt validated. That I still had game, and I can still pull 8s and 9s. I would definitely feel way better about myself if I was making f you money with my app, and living independently, but yeah all in good time. I feel closer than ever to breakout success. Literally within arms reach. How would my life change with this new source of income, new identity, and purpose. I can already feel the emotional fulfillment. I've worked up to this moment for grueling 14 months. It's wild I lasted this long. But I did have a massive success 1 week into this journey. With mbti oracle website getting 10k user signups in a week, it was like the universe winking at me that I could do this. That I was chosen. There was an experiment where they put a mouse in a pool of wat...

So the major pieces of the puzzle has been assembled. I have invented the engine and the fuel. If the app is the engine that creates and captures value, I just need the fuel which is the tiktok, to work along with the engine. Right now I has diesel fuel, but I need gasoline. Now I just need to make the fuel compatible with the engine, and I will only get better and better. I have created a system to consistently output tiktok's and all I gotta do now is wait. I feel relatively certain that in 1 month, max 3 months, I will have my major break through. Now all I need to do is focus. 5% is signal. 95% is noise.

           I had an honest talk today, about how I was allowing my boundaries to be stepped on, and how I was putting myself under others. It is humiliating. But I allowed this to happen because I wanted to avoid discomfort. Because the trauma felt like too much to handle. When in reality all I had to do was simply stand my ground and not take the disrespect. I am of course talking about my father. My imagination paints him as a monster, a big slimy booger monster with perverse mind, when in reality he is just but a 65 year old fragile old man, who is balding and losing grip on any sense of superiority he may be desperately holding on to. Narcissism is in his nature, and I find it unfortunate. And to an extent I understand that it is like a mental handicap. It is like asking a person with tourette syndrome to stop their ticks. But also I have been allowing myself to get repeatedly stepped on, and no more. It is time for me to step back. As much as it pains ...