Releasing trauma and trigger before ascending

         I had an honest talk today, about how I was allowing my boundaries to be stepped on, and how I was putting myself under others. It is humiliating. But I allowed this to happen because I wanted to avoid discomfort. Because the trauma felt like too much to handle. When in reality all I had to do was simply stand my ground and not take the disrespect.

I am of course talking about my father. My imagination paints him as a monster, a big slimy booger monster with perverse mind, when in reality he is just but a 65 year old fragile old man, who is balding and losing grip on any sense of superiority he may be desperately holding on to. Narcissism is in his nature, and I find it unfortunate. And to an extent I understand that it is like a mental handicap. It is like asking a person with tourette syndrome to stop their ticks. But also I have been allowing myself to get repeatedly stepped on, and no more. It is time for me to step back. As much as it pains me to say this, an animal must be treated like an animal, for it only understand the language of an animal.

They say that just before your breakthrough, you will be triggered. Well here it comes. And here it goes.

Now let the fire extinguish, do not give it more oxygen. And let us turn the page.